So I was trying to figure out why a Linux shell was allowing me to "touch this", when clearly MC Hammer says that you can't
$> touch this
See? No errors (very weird). So I did some digging around and discovered that I could touch this because it was mine. I decided to give it to MC Hammer and see if he'd let me touch this.
$> sudo chown mchammer this
$> touch this
touch: cannot touch `this': Permission denied
Ah-hah! There you have it. MC Hammer was right: you can't touch this.